Ms. Norbury (inspirera) wrote,
Ms. Norbury
inspirera

Oz fic: Betrayal

Title: Betrayal
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Words: 601
Spoilers: refers to B/K plotline in seasons 1 and 2

Beecher/Keller. Season 2 finale. Switching POV. You will teach me the meaning of betrayal.


Note: This isn't new, but I hadn't posted it on LJ. Thought to do so after watching 2x08 in my Oz rewatch. Gave it a few tweaks and here we are.


I don't understand. You push me away? I need you. This void is too large. How can I fill this hole? I think it used to be a soul, a long, time ago. The liquid down my throat just burns the hole, making it grow. I've become consumed again. The friend that brought me to OZ is once again controlling me. It betrays me, because I let it.

Betrayal. I don't yet know the meaning of the word.



This will be fun. This is the capture. The chase all went to plan. You will be powerless. I made you want me. I made you want your old friend. I enabled your shattering. I want to see your face when I do it. When I betray you.

Betrayal. I don't yet know the meaning of the word.



I don't understand. Why are you here? Are you sorry? Do you want me back? And I don't understand: why is he here? You said you did not know him.

Clarity. I understand what you are doing and there is only one word that I can think of through this cloud of disbelief.

No.

No. I trusted you.

You will teach me the meaning of betrayal.



I watch your face and I see your poor heart break. I want to break you even more. Break, shrink, make me bigger. Make me feel successful, powerful, something, as I teach you the meaning of betrayal.



I scream, I hurt, why are you doing this to me? Make it real, make this pain real. Crush me, I feel each snap as the lights somewhere inside me switch off, one by one. It's too dark.

Convince me, prove it to me. Show me that you don't love me, that you never did, that nobody ever could.

I can hear someone screaming. I know that voice. I've heard it before. Is it mine?



I see you fading. The pain is consuming you. It's not enough. I need to see you completely dissolved. I push harder, I press harder, I crush your bones with force, I want you to crumple in my hands. I want to hurt you more. I want you to hurt more.



You leave me alone. I feel broken. The physical pain is all I can focus on and I am grateful. It's easier to feel physical pain. I don't want to feel the pain of you. I don't want to feel the pain of your betrayal. It's seeping through though, I am beginning to feel both.

Stop. I can't do this. I can't handle your deceit. I can't take your lies. I can't stand what I've let you do; what I've let you let me become. I'm a pile of broken glass, now only sure to hurt anyone who steps too close. I am too close to me. I hurt more and more by simply being.

How do I accept this? That love is not real and hate is what was there all along? The line between the two is too blurred. That's why it hurts.

This is the meaning of betrayal.



I walk away. It's not enough. I feel empty. How can I fill this hole? I think it used to be a soul, a long, time ago. Why doesn't power fix this problem? Why does the taste of power never satisfy but only leave me wanting more?

It's never enough, and yet the promise was what I held onto. That dream is now gone.

I've broken you, yet I am not fixed. I am more broken because of this.

This is the meaning of betrayal.
Tags: writings: oz
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